Willpower

Article: The Limits of Willpower
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What does it mean to have an iron will, to use your willpower to deal with stress and improve mental fitness?
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Willpower tends to focus on forcing a situation to what you want it to be. You lack proficiency with a skill, yet you use your will to force the outcome to what you desire. Let’s say you’re afraid of falling. You desire to be free of this fear. So, you use your willpower to force yourself to commit to climbing and push the fear out.
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This approach doesn’t improve awareness of the skills you lack; it covers up that deficit. You’re interested only in what you want the outcome to be, not what you need to learn. This isn’t aligned with the learning process or with developing awareness.
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Being afraid of falling has merit. Don’t ignore it. That fear stops you from taking inappropriate risks. Rather, find ways to gain experience to improve your skills. Do this by practicing falling. It’s important to see reality as clearly as possible and then take actionable steps to move through fears. Instead of using willpower, you need to improve your ability to what the situation requires, not the other way around. This builds awareness power, not willpower.

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15 Responses to “Willpower”

  1. doug Says:

    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    How are you using the term “Resistance” in your tip? It sounds to me like “anxiety” which I define as unfounded fear. Thanks

  2. Kerry Says:

    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:02 pm

    Doug – I would say that anxiety and fear both have a foundation and it’s worthwhile to listen to them. Listen up when you feel the resistance – whether it manifests in anxiety, fear, rationalization, or some other form and figure out where it’s coming from. You discern whether it’s real or phantom. Then you make a decision.

    One time, when I was climbing with a Warrior’s Way guide, I rationalized up one side and down the other why I couldn’t get a certain move. Once my rationalizing commentary was done, Tracy asked me if I was afraid of falling. Yes. So I practiced falling. Felt that it was fine. Discerned it to be a phantom fear; the rationalization a cover-up. And climbed the route with few problems after that.

    Resistance is crafty. There’s a good book called the War of Art that talks about it in terms of writing and writer’s block. It’s complementary to The Rock Warrior’s way. I wrote a bit about them both: http://renewableenthusiasm.com/2012/01/15/a-word-on-resistance/

    See, in that previous example, I was onto “resistance’s” trick of anxiety. I wasn’t going to let Tracy on to my anxiety, so I masked it with a total analysis of everything I was doing wrong. I believed it all.

    Another time, I felt total freakish anxiety which seconding with some friends. So much so that I ended up staying on the Gunks Grand Traverse for 2 hours while my friends completed the climb. Turned out the route really was over my abilities (my friend is a better outdoor climber than I am and she had a difficult time with it). Had I attempted it, I would have slowed everyone up (we were climbing 3s). If I had gone with them, we might have finished before dusk, but we certainly wouldn’t have climbed anything else that day. So by my estimate, my decision was sound. We went on to climb another route that day and had a lot of fun.

    In both situations, instead of writing off the resistance I felt as unfounded anxiety, I leaned into both of them and learned. Compound these experiences over time, I’m learning when to trust my instincts and when I’m full of resistance, hot air, bull, rationalization.

  3. Marta Reece Says:

    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:23 pm

    There is no reason to believe that “resistance” equals “unfounded fear.” The fear may be well founded. I forced myself through my fear last summer. I fell and collapsed a lung.

    As for “anxiety,” that is a generalized fear, one not focused on a particular source. While it often is unfounded, it too may be a result of an actual, real threat.

  4. Arno Says:

    January 24th, 2012 at 9:51 am

    Hi Doug, Thanks for your comment and question. I was a bit unsure of the definition of “anxiety” and “resistance” so I looked them up in the dictionary to be clear myself of their meaning. Here is what I found:
    Anxiety: Distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune: He felt anxiety about the possible loss of his job.
    Resistance: The act or power of resisting, opposing, or withstanding.
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    Anxiety is, like you suggest, linked to unfounded fear, rooted in the mind and thinking processes.
    Resistance occurs as you begin engaging, “the act”. It’s more a feeling in the body rather than fear originating in the mind.
    So, the important point is the distinction between a mental act of thinking (anxiety) and a physical act of doing (resistance).
    Your thoughts? Arno

  5. Arno Says:

    January 24th, 2012 at 10:03 am

    Hi Kerry, Thanks for your post. I like your comment at the end: “I leaned into both of them and learned.” That probing into fear or anxiety can help clarify them. I think the important point is that “probing” or “leaning into them” are actions that help clarify what goes on in the mind. The Warrior’s Way is grounded converting intellectual knowledge into experiential knowledge. What you describe is just that: instead of dwelling on a mental process you embrace an experiential process.
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    It’s also helpful to make the distinction between a mental activity (anxiety) and a physical activity (resistance). Resistance is a critical aspect of decision making. I go into this in depth in the Transitions Chp of Espresso Lessons. In fact, the exercise on page 91 (The Mind’s Intuitive Transition Process) demonstrates the importance of resistance and how to use it to make appropriate decisions.
    Your thoughts? Arno

  6. Arno Says:

    January 24th, 2012 at 10:04 am

    Hi Marta, Yes, one main point of this lesson is NOT to will yourself to achieve some end goal unless it is appropriate. Thanks, Arno

  7. Kerry Says:

    January 24th, 2012 at 11:04 pm

    Thanks, Arno – I really like the phrase “converting intellectual knowledge into experiential knowledge.” That really puts words to one of the many things climbing does for me. I’m going to have to dig into the Espresso Lesson you mention – I hadn’t come across it, yet. And resistance is something I’m curious about, especially since “The War of Art” describes it in the negative, but I’m finding that it’s much more than that. Thanks for your blog and for your many awesome tips!
    Kerry

  8. Arno Says:

    January 25th, 2012 at 6:28 am

    Hi Kerry, the Transitions chp in EL goes into resistance plus the exercises in the back. Remember also semantics. I do my best to be aware of the meaning of words I use in writings but we all “understand” words a bit differently, or use them with slightly different intentions or meanings. So resistance as used in War of Art may be different than how I’ve used it. a

  9. Yani Says:

    January 26th, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    Hey, Arno. But what if you are resisting too much? For instance, I’m afraid of falling and I’m aware of it. I decide I will practice with a TR safety back up but I still don’t do it, even if I know the fall is safe! If we are saying we don’t require will power to do it, then what? the ability to let go? patience? trust? all of the above?

  10. Arno Says:

    January 26th, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    Hello Yani, Remember that phrase… “find little ways to engage”? First, you don’t know the fall is safe just by intellectually looking at it. So, just find a small step to take in the direction of engagement that has some resistance but not too much. If there is too much resistance, and you do it anyway, guess what happens? You’ll contract until the fall is over-with, right? If you contract, does any learning occur? Any conversion of stress to comfort? No.

  11. Andrea Says:

    January 26th, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    I love this blog and it would have saved me from a big accident at Devil’s Tower. I feel it also requires a deep listening to what your intuition is saying and then setting a boundary. When you say ,”yet you use your will to force the outcome to what you desire”, will and ego sound synonymous.

    Thank you for all the wisdom and inspiration. I am a big reader and one of my clients asked me what my top three books were ( hard one to do as I read several a month) Even though I love your second book, your first book was on my top three.

  12. Robby Says:

    January 29th, 2012 at 8:06 pm

    I’m really enjoying the discussion this week, and getting a better idea of the difference between the idea that anxiety deals more with the mind, and resistance is more body-based, or actin oriented. But isn’t there some overlap, and couldn’t one drive the other, and vice-versa.
    -r

  13. Robby Says:

    January 29th, 2012 at 8:08 pm

    sorry…that last sentence is a question, not a statement.
    -r

  14. Arno Says:

    January 29th, 2012 at 9:14 pm

    Hi Robby, I think there is always some overlap in these concepts, but it can be helpful to isolate them to understand them better. Check the definition of “anxiety” and “resistance” and report back what you find. Perhaps that will shed some light on the distinction. Arno

  15. Robby Says:

    January 30th, 2012 at 3:59 pm

    a,
    Here is the definition of anxiety:
    “A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome,”
    and resistance:
    “The refusal to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument.”
    First go I see your point. So I’m thinking resistance has more to do with a physical action, whereas anxiety is more of a way of thinking with the mind?
    Quieting my anxious thoughts and learning how to encourage my possibility thinking has been my greatest challenge. Breaking habitual ways of thinking can be a struggle, but is very liberating!

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