How do we get real with our mental training? Could it have something to do with self-worth, comparisonitis, and finding our authentic selves? Check out this podcast interview I did with Trisha Lewis in the UK called Make it Real.
- YouTube teaser clip
- Google drive teaser link
- Best link for listening to whole podcast is on Trisha’s website
- Some dialogue from the podcast is below
Trisha: (explains her climbing experience to me)
- I imagined too much during the climb, but also in life. It’s the imagination that’s the problem.
- It’s not so much physical dangers that are the problem. It’s the psychological part, the fear of failure, wanting to succeed to feel better about ourselves. An important beginning is to do processes that separate our identity from outcomes, so we’re not on a roller coaster with how we feel moment to moment.
- You talk about the unsquashed self. We squash ourselves into a tight representation of who we are. We unsquash our sense of self so it can expand into the capacity of our true selves. This moves us beyond the self-worth roller coaster.
- The squashed self makes us feel like we’re in an existential crisis. By fighting to save our worth, we avert the crisis. But this is a never ending fight because our worth is continually in flux as external circumstances change.
- The solution is making self-worth a non-issue. We don’t try to improve it. We don’t need evidence of success to validate it. Simple existence is enough. We say, “I exist therefore I am.”
- Is there something fundamental that happens to us in rock climbing that helps us with these issues?
- Climbing provides the metaphor for noticing how we do this.
- We can succeed either way (tying identity to outcome or not). The distinction is we enjoy our journey more if we separate them. The purpose of being a warrior is to shift away from achievement at the expense of enjoying the journey.
- We make a mental shift: instead of striving for a future time we think will be better than today, we use future goals simply to guide us.
- This mental shift impacts how we act and how we use our attention. We’re constantly doing mental training, whether we realize it or not. We’re habituating ourselves, the brain neurology, by how we’re using our attention.
- Let’s think about motivation; intrinsic and extrinsic. How do we become the powerhouse in how we’re motivated?
- We tend to think it’s an either/or choice with motivation.
- Rather, we take on a both/and reality with it. Extrinsic motivation is helpful for setting goals, while intrinsic motivation helps us enjoy our work. Intrinsic motivation is grounded in what we love about being in struggles. This both/and approach also applies to finding balance between work and play.
- And also to find balance with fear? I know it’s healthy to push out of our comfort zone.
- It’s healthy; it’s needed. Stress and change is the reality. And so is our need for comfort.
- The beginning of the warrior mindset is accepting life as it is, not thinking life shouldn’t be unfolding as it is.
- I know it’s weird, but I have a fear of cows. I get derailed by that fear. And, I become annoyed with myself for not being able to get over it.
- The mind is constantly creating images of reality to protect us to survive.
- We can work on getting attention out of our heads with meditation, body awareness practices, etc.
- We know the mind will create illusory reality. And, we know we have tools to deal with it. Focusing on our breathing, eye focus, and bodily sensations helps us interact with reality better than solely relying on the mind to interpret it.
- Yes, we can do formal meditation and also apply meditation throughout the day.
- We observe our reactions, feel the tension in the body, and notice our thoughts. We acknowledge, allow, and accept all of these and simply redirect our attention to the task. We do this by engaging our senses, to shift attention out of thinking, into the body, and into actual reality.
- We constantly compare ourselves to others. I call this comparisonitis. It makes us feel like we’re always fighting for survival. I want to be like them (to measure up); I don’t want to be like them (I want to be different); or I just give up (do nothing).
- You say, “Make it real.” We tend to try to be someone we’re not. Mental training helps us find our true authentic self. We don’t know who we are when we’re lost in social conditioning.
- Balance is an important part. Society is moving forward rapidly. It continually puts more demands on our time. We need to find ways to push back against that. We need to find balance for ourselves, our team, and business, not just be caught up in the rapid movement of society.
- Self compassion is helpful for finding this balance. We can have a tendency to be self-critical. Self-compassion is healthier and more effective. It helps us see mistakes as necessary for our learning journey.
- Compassion, vulnerability, and humility are misunderstood words. It’s interesting to contemplate how they make us stronger, rather than weaker.