Here’s a mind twister to challenge your thinking.
“The most painful state of being is remembering the future, particularly the one you’ll never have.”
–Søren Kierkegaard
How do you make sense of this quote? How is it painful “remembering the future?” Is that even possible? It seems like since the future hasn’t happened yet that you can’t remember it. And what does he mean by the future “you’ll never have” as being the most painful?
The way I interpret this is that we allow our imagination to create a future that rarely manifests itself. We use our past experiences for evaluating how our future will be. If that past is painful, then we’ll use it to imagine a painful future.
But we don’t just have the past to create our future. We also have the present. We can focus our attention on our current situation to gather objective information. Then we can use that information and our past experiences to take action to manifest the future we want.
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I interpret this quote in my personal history. My father passed before my 1. daughter was born. I experience the most beautiful moments with my kids sometimes with ambivalence, since I will never share them with my father. My kids can never ever meet him. How grateful I feel to have a father in law. And to see him playing with his grandkids. I imagined the future of my father beeing a grandfather, but it never happend.
Oh Eva, so sad life can be, as you relate. I’m pleased to see that you are focusing on being grateful for having a father-in-law. Be well and attentive. a
Hi Arno,
I hope you are well!
Here is a mantra I use to remind myself to come back to the present.
“The past is history. The future is mystery. The present moment is a gift.”
-Lama Lhanang
Seems like I’ve heard that somewhere:) a
Good Afternoon Arno,
Your offering recalls an observation offered by Mark Twain, “I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” Using our present to anticipate the future (while seemingly very common (and human?)) can lead to unnecessary anxiety that is often no less impactful on the health of our minds and bodies as experiencing only one possible future that has yet to or did not manifest.
Thank you, as always, for your provocative thought pieces. Wishing you an engaging week. Thank you again as well for the book on “Concentration.”
Travel well, Greg.
Welcome Greg. Just to stop worrying improves life 100%. 🙂 a
What a great reminder. I just heard the quote being used and wanted to look it up to find the author – and your blog post was number one on my search results. Nice!
What I find interesting: the fact that the brain makes it possible for us to even build a future story before it happens is astonishing, and then kind of a paradox, we can’t let it run away with our fantasy or it will drive us into madness.
Hey Peggy, sounds like there’s a balance needed there, isn’t it? The brain, indeed, does anticipate the future based on past experience…so we can survive. That’s necessary and also can prevent us from thriving. Some anticipation along with the ability to live in ambiguity can help us thrive. How is all for you? a